The birth of a child is a miracle. It was a miracle the day Jesus was born and it is a miracle today with each and every child entering this world. I recently returned to work after having my first baby, but let me tell you - it felt nothing like a miracle.
I had a typical pregnancy and a somewhat complicated birth, but at the end of the day my son was born, appearing healthy. In the following days we would learn that he was far from it. He couldn’t eat, slept nearly all day, and spent his waking moments writhing in pain.
I won’t get into the lengthy details of those days.. or the months and months that followed, but after a long NICU stay we eventually learned that our infant son was born with a genetic disorder that would shape his life, as well as ours.
Nemaline Myopathy is an ultra rare condition that causes the muscles throughout the body to be very weak. My son, Callum, spent 9 months in hospital, is fed through a feeding tube, cannot walk or crawl, and relies on a number of medical devices on a daily basis. There is no treatment and no cure. The goal for this condition is to try to prevent the worsening of symptoms as kids age through medications, surgeries, and therapies.
I spent many tearful days praying for miraculous healing for my son. I prayed he would breathe on his own, be able to eat, and learn to walk and play like any other kid. I liked to think that if I prayed enough and truly believed in the miracle, God would remove us from this suffering.
But that’s really not how miracles work.
When I became too tired to pray, I would weep over my child and sit in God’s presence, believing He would know my prayer without me having to say a word. And in the silence God’s voice said, “My child, the miracle has already happened. I have blessed you with a son and I will move mountains through him.”
I wanted my miracle, but God had already performed His.
With that answer my prayers changed. Lord, please give me the strength to be the mom my son needs. Lord, surround me with a community that understands this experience. Lord please have mercy on me when I doubt your goodness in this story. Lord, thank you for the miracles you have performed and the miracles yet to come.
And God blessed our family over and over. He changed my perspective of parenting. He introduced me to a group of medical moms that would be the greatest support I could ask for. He covered me in grace and mercy and love on the hardest days. And He helped me to see his miraculous hands working in Callum’s everyday life.
God’s miracles aren’t about us. They aren’t about avoiding suffering, and they aren’t even about physical healing. The purpose of God’s miracles is to Glorify Him and to free us to accept salvation.
The Bible is full of miracles and often those miracles involve physical healing, but Jesus didn’t heal these people simply to remove their earthly suffering. Jesus first, and most importantly, heals us spiritually by forgiving our sins and pointing us to God.
We see this in Matthew 9, when Jesus heals a paralyzed man. He first says to the man, “Take heart, son; your sins are forgiven.” And when the teachers questioned God’s authority, Jesus responded, “Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’? But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” (Matthew 9:1-8)
Callum does not need to be miraculously healed to be used by God. His disability has given me a new heart and fresh eyes. I have a peace that I have never before had, that can only come from our God above. It’s a peace that others notice and when people ask how I remain so calm and encouraging when faced with these trials, I can only point to Him. Our God of miracles.
